FAITH

Lucky No. 7, Jaye Davidson faithfully returns to LMP!

Jaye Davidson

As you may recall, Jaye – as I’ve known her – always seems to be doing everything, everywhere, all at once¹. She is a producer; she is a professor; she is a writer; she is a friend; she is a “fake cousin”²; she is a wife. And, new since our last encounter with Jaye, she is also mother to sweet and bubbly baby Auburn. Two unyielding characteristics thread Jaye’s many, simultaneous lives together among her patchwork of personas – her propensity to grow despite circumstance and her guiding compass of faith.

Faith has long been an integral part of Jaye’s life. In addition to being a member of the believing community, Jaye’s active, faithful practice has guided her in making challenging decisions, it has given her opportunities to travel, and it has encouraged her to give selflessly to others in need. In her words, Jaye’s alignment with faith fills her heart with warmth and love and light.

While I’ve never had a structured spiritual practice nor have I seriously studied religion, I think that I have navigated much of my professional and “adulting” endeavors through a faithful, subconscious effort.

When I take a breather and look back at my path traveled so far, it is amazing to me that any of my ventures have worked out.

Had I known what any of my next adventures were before they presented themselves to me, I think I would’ve risked losing them due to anxiety and a desire to control situations not really in my hands; regardless of situation, I think I would’ve overworked myself or over-communicated or overreacted out of anticipation and desperation, had I known what lay in store.

But because I’ve always known that I need to lead a project-based life, I’ve never really felt insecurity when gigs end. Instead, I tend to feel freedom, and I am always grateful for the period of rest.

Even last year – the first year I devoted to prioritizing play – when I felt the pressures of financial insecurity and had no solid prospects ahead of me, I suppose I trusted the process and myself enough based on observation and prior experience to stay present amidst uncertainty.

And I think I’ve constructed my own faith through these patterns of trust:

• Through trusting that new projects will be created and crewed

• Through trusting that money spent with intention will return to support

• Through trusting that I work well and that others appreciate my efforts

• Through trusting that I will absorb what I need from each experience &

• Through trusting that I will catch myself if I fall

So, my journey so far has been a neat cocktail of blind faith and cool intuition. It’s what gave me the courage to chase Harold and the Purple Crayon. It’s what inspired me to start Let Me Play. It’s what coaxed me to venture down to Colombia on Jaye’s behalf and to accompany her more recently in London and in NYC. It’s what told me to hold out for a chance at Union work. It’s what has allowed me to keep providing for myself month after month and is what encourages me to keep moving forward along my quest.

My faith is tested every day as a freelancer. Moving faithfully inspires me to move graciously because there is no guarantee that any of my dreams will manifest. Each leap of faith is a swing on the trapeze, and each success – no matter how small – is a miraculous catch on the other side³.

Recognizing the strength I hold in my professional faith now motivates me to build that same trust in the somatic and social areas of my life. If I can believe that I can be strong, I will train to be strong and will likely become stronger. If I can believe I can learn a certain skill in a certain discipline, I will put myself in the right environment and will try my best to learn the craft.

In the moment, though, while I’m very much still bumbling about and am allowing myself to splat, I hold much gratitude for faithful friends like Jaye, who not only believe in me but also cheer me on along the way.

Sarah, Akil (Jaye’s friend), & Jaye at the MET in NYC – photo taken by Sarah’s friend, and previous LMP guest, Brenton Burgess

Jaye’s faith in me is unwavering. She extends her love and her light to me every chance she gets, and I do my best to return her warmth across all of our endeavors. For every adventure we’ve gone on, I hope we get to go on two more. And for every story we’ve told, I believe we’ll tell another.

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Jaye is (maybe too?⁴) active on Facebook. You can also read more about Jaye’s film, The Lady Edison, on the film’s official website and on its Facebook page.

Select referenced people and materials:

• Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

• His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman

• Contemporary Philosopher Sam Harris

• Obituary of Liza Fletcher

• The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

• CODA (2021)

All music for the podcast lovingly created by Ian T. Jones.

1. We watched EEAAO in Jaye’s living room together after recording this podcast episode (my 5th viewing, her 1st), and she watched, cooked, cleaned, externally processed, bantered with her husband, and mothered all at once. I was honestly impressed with how much she took from it, given her less than ideal screening.

2. Jaye has affectionately dubbed both Laura & I her “fake cousins.”

3. Side note, I would love to try swinging on a trapeze. Please hook me up. Literally.

4. Her words, not mine!